How do you handle rejection from a woman or a man?
Rejection can be defined as the act of pushing someone or something away. One may experience rejection from one’s family of origin, a friend, or a romantic partner, and the resulting emotions can often be painful. Rejection might be experienced on a large scale or in small ways in everyday life. http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/rejection
Some people seem to act as if they couldn’t care less what others think. They throw restraint to the wind, and do what they want to do. They set goals and often achieve them, they make no apologies for fulfilling their personal goals and achieving satisfaction in life. Often, these people seem to be the happiest and most fulfilled people around, albeit annoyingly confident.
On the other end of the spectrum we have the ‘tip toe crowd’, timidly creeping around, walking on egg shells, scared that they might upset somebody, hankering for approval. Worrying that someone might think that they’re mean or stupid or ugly or crazy or worst of all intolerant… Typically, they often seem to be quite sad. They also often blame others for their lack of fulfilment… squashing their despondency deep down out of sight ( lest they upset somebody), but later discovering that they are the proud owners of a toxic mish mash of resentment and passive aggression.
How to Deal with Rejection?
Perhaps, whether it’s a nation that has lost all tolerance for intolerance, to the point where what is tolerated, is intolerable OR an individual who is fearful to let their true self be known, the root issue is the same. Their is a risk of rejection. Some of us are afraid of having enemies.
But the truth is, if you say YES to something, or you take a stand for something, you will also be required to say NO to something else. There is a cost, and it might be personal. Whether you are setting boundaries in your life or choosing to be a person of integrity, it will cost you, and you will need courage to do it. Some people seem to have the courage to be assertive, to set their course in life, to make decisions that will result in fulfillment and satisfaction. Some people appear to be able to let their YES be YES and their NO Be NO. Why is this? Is it courage? Where does courage come from?
OVERCOME REJECTION
If you want courage, If you want the fuel to sustain true change and claim authentic freedom, there is one source and that is RELATIONSHIPS. Healthy, intimate relationships are the source of courage. They give us the power we need to live in freedom… And this power is love… And love drives out anxiety. Connection instills within us the strength to be able to make decisions, move in directions and achieve things, that could potentially result in rejection.
So I say plug in, connect, invest in relationship, make it your goal, make it your priority. Learn how to love and be loved. The risk of rejection is real, but love makes it tolerable. Love never fails. Overcome rejection with love.
Nick is an exceptionally skilled and compassionate counsellor and psychotherapist with over 20 years’ professional experience. He is also an active member of the Australian Counselling Association. Nick has a substantial background in both private practice and the community health and education sectors. He specialises in supporting young people, individual adults, couples and families. Nick particularly enjoys relationship and marriage counselling, assisting couples overcome relationship barriers to gain greater intimacy.
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