Anger Management

Anger is one of those emotions that we need, but also need to manage.

It empowers us to fight things that we SHOULD fight, like injustice and cruelty. It gives us the fuel and capacity to say NO to certain things and to set limits on certain people and behaviours. Anger helps us by giving us the courage and boldness to set boundaries. Make no mistake, we NEED anger.

Sometimes people don’t let themselves get angry at things that they SHOULD get angry at. Often this is because they are afraid of the potential consequences of their expressed anger, or they believe that being angry is unethical. This is completely unhelpful.

Suppressed anger will inevitably pop up in a person’s life in a different form, such as depression or bitterness. Physical illness can even result from unresolved, uncommunicative anger.

Anger Management is about learning when to be angry and when not to, and how to express that anger in mature and healthy ways. It I see also about resolving any present or past hurts that would provoke an angry response or feeling. When we can do this, our mental health and relationships always improve.

Many of us simply haven’t learnt how to process our emotions. Emotional Intelligence is sadly lacking in many of our lives. We may be able to fix a car, design intricate software or lecture on quantum physics without knowing how to handle our emotions.

Some helpful steps towards managing anger:

1. Talk to someone you trust or a counsellor. Be honest about how you feel ( this is harder for some than others). Work out what you may be angry about and honestly open up about it. Be real.

2. Start writing a journal. Be honest about how you feel. This helps you to be honest with yourself.

3. Make a note of any people in your present or past who have wronged you. Make an intentional effort to forgive them.

4. If necessary, set some boundaries in your life with people who may be manipulating or disrespecting you. It is right to forgive, but trust is earned.

For more advice or to speak to an anger management counsellor.