To all the wonderful mums out there I’d like to offer you the honour and respect that is due you. The art of noble motherhood is one of the wonders of the world and in action to view, something beautiful. The love of a mother is utterly unique. In the English language we only have one word for love, but other languages reveal distinctives. The Greeks call a mothers love ‘Mitriki Agape’ (it has its own name!). It is a parental love that is gentle, tender, sacrificial and protective.

Despite the different perspectives people hold about Mother’s Day and the obvious commercialisation of such events, it is worthy thing to honour mothers in a purposeful and special manner. Mother’s Day can serve as a reminder to do this very thing. It helps us to be mindful, intentional and respectful.

For those who may have lost their mothers or may have never known their mums, I want to offer you my attention and empathy. I lost my own mum last year, and with it what feels like a chunk of my heart.

In the right and worthy celebration of all things ‘mothery’, we who have lost or never known our mothers can feel the pang of that absence ever so stronger. It can be an awareness that we would rather not have. Even so, it can also be a time to honour them in the midst of tears or to ‘grieve well’… something that is often missing in our busy, modern, western society life. Honouring someone through grief is perhaps a unique practice and one way to positively approach Mother’s Day in the absence of your mum.

Everyone does ‘grief’ differently. For some, space and quiet is needed. For others, you may want the presence of a friend. Grief, as Elisabeth Kubler-Ross states has a cycle. You go through various stages. It is important to recognise and accept the stage you are in and to be authentic and honest with yourself about your feelings and needs. There is nothing strong or courageous about inauthenticity, denial or stoicism. Emotional honesty and appropriate expression of feelings can be a mark of maturity and character.

If your mum is no longer with you, you may want to do something this Mother’s Day to honour her. It can be in the form of doing something that she may have done, like sitting in a garden or going to a concert ( which I did today). Alternatively, you may just wish to take some time to reflect on her life.

Whatever you do this Mother’s Day, honour your mother and mothers in general. I’ll finish with a quote by Mark Twain 🙂

“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me , but I think she enjoyed it”

Love to mothers

Nick Gwynn

Breathe Counselling